The most nerve-wracking part of the day for most couples is the wedding ceremony - you're the absolute centre of attention, it's the biggest day of your life, and you're gonna have to say a few words. But if you don't write your own vows, your only speaking role is going to be repeating some stuff your marriage celebrant says. So if you're trying to avoid getting too nervous, you can just do the legal minimum vows, 'repeat after me,' and you're done.
But I don't think you should do that, and here's a few reasons why.
You're almost certainly not going to regret writing your own vows. But there's a much higher chance you'll end up regretting not doing them. Speaking in front of a crowd can be hard, and pouring your heart out as you do it doesn't make it any easier. But part of the reason it makes you nervous is because you know it's significant. You know you're forming a memory, a once in a lifetime moment to look back upon. It's okay to be nervous - nobody's expecting you to bust out your vows like you're Rick Ardon rolling off the 6 o'clock news. All that matters is that you mean what you're saying, and not only will you feel okay after pushing through the nerves - you'll feel amazing, and you'll be stoked you made the effort.
Your marriage celebrant can help! Most marriage celebrants will be able to give you a hand with your vows. Your vows should come from the heart, but that doesn't mean that someone who's heard hundreds of vow-readings can't help you best communicate what's in your heart. If you've ever heard someone else perfectly articulate something you've always instinctively known to be true, you'll get how valuable it is when someone takes those gut feelings and expresses them in just the right way, and this is something your celebrant should be able to help you with.
If you've booked a videographer, you should definitely do your own vows. Great wedding vows are an audio-visual collage of all the most significant moments of your day, and guess what? Some from-the-heart vows are almost certainly going to make the cut, and make your wedding video an even better record of the awesome day you had.
You’re already taking the plunge - you’re getting married! So bust through those nerves, and don’t leave yourself wishing you’d done it differently.
